19 Most Important Points in Getting a Girlfriend
How to start dating the girl of your dreams
1 Stop trying.
Seems a bit counterintuitive I know, But really, trying to find a girlfriend is one of the worst ways to actually get one. It comes across as needy and trying to please. Its a big turn off, Don’t do this. Just be yourself and happy to be doing your own thing, if it is a possible future girlfriend on the scene, then stay cool and go to step two.
2 Not Trying to Impress
Do not go out of your way to please her or impress her or get up all into her space, this is a similar point number one but different. If you are showing off to impress her, she will know, it will not work. If you are trying to get close to her all of a sudden you will appear creepy. Wait for the right opportunity to come along while you are doing your own thing, with your friends, or whatever. Then make sure to do step three.
3 Style and Dress Sense
You must be wearing decent clothes and look well dressed and clean. I cannot understate how important it is to be clean and smell nice. You do not have to have an expensive cologne or body spray but you must not smell of sweat, dirt or anything else unpleasant. That would be a big no no, straight away and she will be gone. This also applies to teeth, breath, shoes, hair and nails. Make sure they are clean, fresh and look nice and cared for.
You may like to have a certain style or dress sense, that’s fine and being different is too, as long as you are comfortable with it. If your not comfortable with your style then it will be obvious and come across. Be yourself, stand out with your personality and confidence and dress accordingly.
4 The Approach
Okay, you’re now thinking of making contact and how you can go about this. Firstly you must not have too many minds. This means, you need to relax, stop thinking any negative thoughts like; will she like me, She is too good for me, I am not handsome enough, or anything else like that, forget that.
You wouldn’t do that if you were going to meet anyone else would you? You would have a goal in mind, be it to play basketball or do some homework (joke) or just go and have a laugh in the Mall. It is the same here, your goal should be to go have a chat, enjoy her company for a little while and see if you like each other beyond that. That is the only thing should be in your mind.
You need to have the thought in mind, she is just another person, like any other and you just want a chat and a laugh with her. This will allow you to have enough confidence to approach her. You are NOT trying to make her into your girlfriend, remember that at this point.
6 Your Voice
Last thing you want is to be squeaky. That is not a good voice quality. Practice on your own, record your voice if you must, listen and improve the quality. You think Vin Diesel was born with that voice? No, I don’t think so, he developed it until it was just what he wanted. Then practised, now it’s stuck.
Make sure it’s not needy or sucking up. Be cool, be yourself and you do not “need” this girl, you are both just having fun here, right? No swearing or being gross.
8 Body language (BL)
Be aware of BL and like the voice thing, practice to improve it if you need to. Check out movie stars, how they walk, talk, hold themselves and their demeanour in general. Donot try to be them, just get ideas for confidence. Smile but in a natural way, not intense or scary. Do not lean-in towards her, stay aware of your BL and facial expressions. You would also be aware of her BL too. Taking note of how she is feeling through her facial expression, gestures, seating / standing position, movements. It will tell you how you are doing and whether to take it further or back off. Stay aware!
If and when appropriate, compliment her on what is true, was it her hair, face, smile, eyes, laugh, be honest what attracted you, be straight about it. Ask her about herself, A nice tease can go along way too, be gentle and not aggressive or insulting. A tease is often a very good flirt, it can show your strength but also your kindness and sense of humour.
Listen to her, really listen to her, imprint the topics she likes in your brain, ask questions about it, be genuinely interested or if not tease her about it, make some light-hearted jokes but be careful not to offend her, that is not going to help. Stay honest, if you disagree with something then say so, but again be gentle, don’t embarrass her or show her up! This can show confidence and also that your not a suck-up and just trying to please, it says you know your own mind and are happy to state your own thoughts about a topic, etc.
Try to keep it light and keep it fun as much as possible. Remember to enjoy yourself, the conversation and her company. It is not just about the end goal of getting a date but of course that is an important goal.
At a natural point in the chat, you can ask for her contact number, don’t be pushy about it, if she wants you to have it she will give it freely.
14 Be cool
Remember all of the above does not have to take place in one go. It depends on the situation of course but if you are in a place where she and you will be again then don’t rush it, you can do a little more the next time.
15 The Date
If the opportunity arises from what she talked about in her conversation, maybe you could hint of doing something around that together. For example, if she likes animals, a zoo is a great place for a first date. Dinner can be a bit much for a first date and a bit pressurised. The cinema is also not so good as it does not give much opportunity to get to know each other. So give it some thought, take your time.
16 Mystery man
Be a little elusive, go back to your friends or whatever you were doing before you met, you’re bust right. This can help create some desire in her. She may make a point of coming back to you next time.
If it moves into texting, be cool. Don’t text your message more than once. Girls can be tricky to read. Sometimes they may read a message and leave it for a while to think about it or to see what you will do /say next. Give her space to respond.
18 Writing texts
Read it BEFORE you hit the send button. How many times have you sent a text to realise it could be taken the wrong way or there is letters or words missing AFTER you have sent it? Read carefully what you have written; think about the message it sends. Is it light, funny and would it make her smile or laugh? If so, OK, send and then forget it until later or you get a response and then take your time as well.
19 Text Buddy
Do not become a text mate if your intention was for a girlfriend. Texting should be brief, light-hearted and with a goal of meeting up. Do not get into long discussions or you / me/ you /me type long conversation. It’s boring.
You do not need to say everything in a text conversation. Once you have a date sorted your done really. If necessary, make a gentle excuse to end the texting, “gotta go now”. Let some mystery hang on it, like there is more but not now, kind of thing.
If you liked this article and are interested, I can move onto dating in my next video. Only if you like, comment and let me know!